Searching

When I started Jumping Jolens back in 2012, search terms on Google were unencrypted. I could read every keyword that lured random strangers into the stinky pits of my blog. It was pretty cool, but I didn’t gain much from it save for the occasional entertainment.

Some search terms were funny (“kailan tutubo pag nag ahit ng kilay”), some were lewd (“hugis ng vagina ni [celebrity]”), and some were legitimate queries (“ano ang spaghetting pataas at pababa”). Today I will try to answer some of these questions and address other pressing concerns, all in the spirit of Ayokong Asikasuhin ang Buhay Ko Kaya Ito na Muna ang Gagawin Ko.

Continue reading “Searching”

March

I watched six movies this month. Five out of six were romance films; the odd one out was Captain Marvel.

I didn’t write notes about these movies. I didn’t even think about them that much. I needed to rest my mind; I had enough shit to worry about this month.

When I watched Alone/Together I cried practically the entire time. I didn’t, no — I couldn’t think too much about the film. I don’t even remember anything about it; I just know that the tears started pouring the moment I saw CAL.

Continue reading “March”

Bitchy Ma’am Tessie

So believe it or not (believe it), I wasn’t always a self-deprecating dumb-ass who barely got through her acads. At one point in my origin story, I was actually pretty smart. Book-smart, math-smart — that brand of smart.

Unfortunately I peaked in grade school. Back then my marks were high enough to land me a spot in the Honor List even though all I did was show up. I never studied at home and I watched a lot of TV. The only time I truly cared was when we had to grow a plant for Science and I treasured my munggo seed like it was a mother’s most precious orchid. (I used to love botany, remember?)

One of my teachers then was Ma’am Tessie, a pudgy bespectacled guráng who put on smeared lipstick like an impish Bratz doll. Spoiler alert: Ma’am Tessie hated my guts.

Continue reading “Bitchy Ma’am Tessie”

Excerpts

A couple years back I wrote a draft for a post called “If Fonts Were People.” I wanted to personify the fonts that I use, but the task turned out to be a little too ambitious for my skills. Here’s a snippet:

It’s the font. My productivity relies heavily on pretty fonts.

Cochin has been my go-to recently. Cochin is pretty and petite, like a quiet chinita with perfect posture and who clips her bangs to the side. She dresses sharply like she’s always en route to a corporate meeting. And if you say the right things, you will see the stern sweetness in her smile. That’s what I long for when I write: I want the words to smile.

Continue reading “Excerpts”

Sunday Questions

I searched Google for “get to know you questions” and I found this. La la la, whatever.


What type of music are you into?

The last song I saved on Spotify is “Before We Begin” by Broadcast. (That doesn’t really answer the question, does it?)

What are your hobbies and how did you get into them?

I got into blogging because I genuinely enjoyed writing in high school. I got into painting/sketching because I was living out of town a couple years back and I was sooo bored. That’s when I sketched this Paraluman portrait and I thought, uy, masaya ‘to a!

Continue reading “Sunday Questions”

Sad Sunday

Today I’m sad and I don’t know why.

I’m stuck at a problem at work. Last week I was given a huge data set to analyze but I couldn’t extract the metadata that I need to crunch. The boss didn’t give me a deadline but still, I’m frustrated. Sometimes I think I’m too dumb for this job. Sometimes I also think that maybe I shouldn’t have abandoned writing as a career.

Continue reading “Sad Sunday”

Sunday Currently #4

I am out of sorts again. I won’t bore you with the details but just to stay on brand, I am currently

reading an anthology of Filipino speculative fiction from the early 2000’s; one of the stories called “The Secret Origin of Spin-man” by Andrew Drilon is a genuine mood booster, i.e. nakakataba ng puso;

writing this post and nothing else;

listening to Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “Maps”;

thinking that many of my failures in life may have been caused by my tendency to procrastinate every, god, damn, time;

Continue reading “Sunday Currently #4”