Searching

Jolens16 Comments

When I started Jumping Jolens back in 2012, search terms on Google were unencrypted. I could read every keyword that lured random strangers into the stinky pits of my blog. It was pretty cool, but I didn’t gain much from it save for the occasional entertainment.

Some search terms were funny (“kailan tutubo pag nag ahit ng kilay”), some were lewd (“hugis ng vagina ni [celebrity]”), and some were legitimate queries (“ano ang spaghetting pataas at pababa”). Today I will try to answer some of these questions and address other pressing concerns, all in the spirit of Ayokong Asikasuhin ang Buhay Ko Kaya Ito na Muna ang Gagawin Ko.

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March

Jolens3 Comments

I watched six movies this month. Five out of six were romance films; the odd one out was Captain Marvel.

I didn’t write notes about these movies. I didn’t even think about them that much. I needed to rest my mind; I had enough shit to worry about this month.

When I watched Alone/Together I cried practically the entire time. I didn’t, no — I couldn’t think too much about the film. I don’t even remember anything about it; I just know that the tears started pouring the moment I saw CAL.

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Bitchy Ma’am Tessie

Jolens22 Comments

So believe it or not (believe it), I wasn’t always a self-deprecating dumb-ass who barely got through her acads. At one point in my origin story, I was actually pretty smart. Book-smart, math-smart — that brand of smart.

Unfortunately I peaked in grade school. Back then my marks were high enough to land me a spot in the Honor List even though all I did was show up. I never studied at home and I watched a lot of TV. The only time I truly cared was when we had to grow a plant for Science and I treasured my munggo seed like it was a mother’s most precious orchid. (I used to love botany, remember?)

One of my teachers then was Ma’am Tessie, a pudgy bespectacled guráng who put on smeared lipstick like an impish Bratz doll. Spoiler alert: Ma’am Tessie hated my guts.

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Excerpts

Jolens12 Comments

A couple years back I wrote a draft for a post called “If Fonts Were People.” I wanted to personify the fonts that I use, but the task turned out to be a little too ambitious for my skills. Here’s a snippet:

It’s the font. My productivity relies heavily on pretty fonts.

Cochin has been my go-to recently. Cochin is pretty and petite, like a quiet chinita with perfect posture and who clips her bangs to the side. She dresses sharply like she’s always en route to a corporate meeting. And if you say the right things, you will see the stern sweetness in her smile. That’s what I long for when I write: I want the words to smile.

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Sunday Questions

Jolens6 Comments

I searched Google for “get to know you questions” and I found this. La la la, whatever.

What type of music are you into?

The last song I saved on Spotify is “Before We Begin” by Broadcast. (That doesn’t really answer the question, does it?)

What are your hobbies and how did you get into them?

I got into blogging because I genuinely enjoyed writing in high school. I got into painting/sketching because I was living out of town a couple years back and I was sooo bored. That’s when I sketched this Paraluman portrait and I thought, uy, masaya ‘to a!

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Sad Sunday

Jolens20 Comments

Today I’m sad and I don’t know why.

I’m stuck at a problem at work. Last week I was given a huge data set to analyze but I couldn’t extract the metadata that I need to crunch. The boss didn’t give me a deadline but still, I’m frustrated. Sometimes I think I’m too dumb for this job. Sometimes I also think that maybe I shouldn’t have abandoned writing as a career.

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Sunday Currently #4

Jolens4 Comments

I am out of sorts again. I won’t bore you with the details but just to stay on brand, I am currently

reading an anthology of Filipino speculative fiction from the early 2000’s; one of the stories called “The Secret Origin of Spin-man” by Andrew Drilon is a genuine mood booster, i.e. nakakataba ng puso;

writing this post and nothing else;

listening to Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “Maps”;

thinking that many of my failures in life may have been caused by my tendency to procrastinate every, god, damn, time;

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