Category: Diary

Ice breakers

Jolens20 Comments

I went to a paint night event the other day and the organizers made us do this ice breaker thing in which everybody had to ask each other questions like, “so, what do you do for fun?”

What movies do you like?

What kind of music do you listen to?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I hate ice breakers and I hated answering those questions. I visibly cringed at each prompt, which was weird because I answer similar questions on this blog all the time. Liebster Awards, movie tags, book tags — like, all the time.

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Gym

Jolens3 Comments

I hit the gym today. After almost a year of not working out, I finally hit the gym today.

I’m not exactly sure what prompted me to visit the gym again. I finished all my urgent tasks at about 8:30 in the evening and I thought, hmm — maybe I should go the gym today.

On the way home from the gym I decided I would write about it, this, the going to the gym. I know myself. Something must have happened — something must have pushed me to walk into that gym and hop on that elliptical for half an hour (it’s not a lot but give me a break, will you?).

So, what gives?

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December

Jolens12 Comments

I baked chocolate chip cookies on Christmas Eve. I also ate turkey and spaghetti, I drank wine, and then I watched a movie before going to sleep at around 4am on Christmas Day.

My sleep cycle is still whacked. Luckily I don’t go back to school until next week so I can go to sleep whenever I want. Overall I feel much better now than I did last month.

I still have to go to the clinic to get another blood test done. Sometime in December I did what the doctors call a Lung Function Test, and the technician told me that the results do not suggest I have asthma (“but it doesn’t completely rule it out,” she said). This new blood test will determine if my seasonal shortness of breath is caused, not by asthma, but by allergies.

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November

Jolens18 Comments

November was rough on my health. I started taking pills to get my circadian rhythm under control but the meds didn’t help at all. The side effects even made things worse, actually.

There was one time when I had to wake my parents up in the middle of the night because my chest hurt so bad and I felt like I was having a heart attack. I drank water, I tried meditating and breathing to a certain pattern but none of them calmed the pain. I told my parents I couldn’t sleep and when Ma gave me a hug, I bawled like a baby. It was bad.

But that was two weeks ago and I’m obviously still alive, so it probably wasn’t a heart attack. I still get those chest pains though — I’ve been having them for quite some time now.

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Se7en Things

Jolens28 Comments

Earlier I worked on a lab report for AI and another lab report for DIP. Tonight I plan to work on yet another lab shit for Machines, write some content for a raket, and review my notes for complex variable math — ang sipag lang e, ‘no?

The reason why I’m grinding through all this acads shit is because I have an upcoming electromagnetics exam next Tuesday. I’m currently on bagsak standing for EM so acing the next exam is crucial if I want to pass the class. Bakit ba kasi ang hirap-hirap ng EM??

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October

Jolens29 Comments

“That was the year, my twenty-eighth, when I was discovering that not all of the promises would be kept, that some things are in fact irrevocable and that it had counted after all, every evasion and every procrastination, every mistake, every word, all of it.”
– Joan Didion, “Goodbye To All That”

When I realized that my dismal academic performance in October would most likely delay my graduation, I broke down.

But it wasn’t immediate, the breaking down. Sometime in mid-October I started getting back my exam results — all failing grades, all below class average — but I didn’t cry just yet. There were moments when my chest would feel an aching tug, but I also had other exams and other assignments and other reports to worry about.

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Sunday Currently #5

Jolens17 Comments

It is almost 2am on a Monday and I have just completed all my tasks for Sunday but I still feel like writing a post before I finally, finally go to sleep — so currently I am

reading Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata, which I would probably finish tonight (this morning) while I wait for Sleep to kick in;

writing this post and a bazillion other things for school and for work;

listening to my “Panggabi” playlist;

thinking that I am too tired to think about anything right at this moment;

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