So believe it or not (believe it), I wasn’t always a self-deprecating dumb-ass who barely got through her acads. At one point in my origin story, I was actually pretty smart. Book-smart, math-smart — that brand of smart.
Unfortunately I peaked in grade school. Back then my marks were high enough to land me a spot in the Honor List even though all I did was show up. I never studied at home and I watched a lot of TV. The only time I truly cared was when we had to grow a plant for Science and I treasured my munggo seed like it was a mother’s most precious orchid. (I used to love botany, remember?)
One of my teachers then was Ma’am Tessie, a plump bespectacled guráng who put on smeared lipstick like an impish Bratz doll. Spoiler alert: Ma’am Tessie hated my guts.
A couple years back I wrote a draft for a post called “If Fonts Were People.” I wanted to personify the fonts that I use, but the task turned out to be a little too ambitious for my skills. Here’s a snippet:
It’s the font. My productivity relies heavily on pretty fonts.
Cochin has been my go-to recently. Cochin is pretty and petite, like a quiet chinita with perfect posture and who clips her bangs to the side. She dresses sharply like she’s always en route to a corporate meeting. And if you say the right things, you will see the stern sweetness in her smile. That’s what I long for when I write: I want the words to smile.
I searched Google for “get to know you questions” and I found this. La la la, whatever.
What type of music are you into?
The last song I saved on Spotify is “Before We Begin” by Broadcast. (That doesn’t really answer the question, does it?)
What are your hobbies and how did you get into them?
I got into blogging because I genuinely enjoyed writing in high school. I got into painting/sketching because I was living out of town a couple years back and I was sooo bored. That’s when I sketched this Paraluman portrait and I thought, uy, masaya ‘to a!
I’m stuck at a problem at work. Last week I was given a huge data set to analyze but I couldn’t extract the metadata that I need to crunch. The boss didn’t give me a deadline but still, I’m frustrated. Sometimes I think I’m too dumb for this job. Sometimes I also think that maybe I shouldn’t have abandoned writing as a career.
I am out of sorts again. I won’t bore you with the details but just to stay on brand, I am currently
reading an anthology of Filipino speculative fiction from the early 2000’s; one of the stories called “The Secret Origin of Spin-man” by Andrew Drilon is a genuine mood booster, i.e. nakakataba ng puso;
writing this post and nothing else;
listening to Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “Maps”;
thinking that many of my failures in life may have been caused by my tendency to procrastinate every, god, damn, time;
I welcomed February with exactly $0 in my bank account. Usually I save at least a hundred bucks after each billing cycle — but this month? Pff. I had nada.
“We got bills to pay,” sings Taylor Swift. So this month I paid the bills, I took charge of my brother’s rent (long story and not mine to tell) and I shouldered other expenses too. I couldn’t even let my paychecks simmer into oblivion. They were gone as soon as they arrived; it was instant sublimation.
But I’m fine, I guess. My family still eats regularly, I still have a job, and I can still afford to drink beer every now and then. I come from a lower middle class household so treading the fringes of financial stability isn’t new to me. I’m used to this; we’ll survive eventually.