January

What is it about revolutions around the sun that triggers strange sentimentality in people?

I’ve been a cynic my entire life that for so long, temporal markers have done nothing to me and my jaded butt. Why care about resolutions, anniversaries, and even birthdays when everything is doomed to end anyway? I think the great absurdists of my time had a point when they asked, “ano pang point?”

But when the calendars changed about a month ago, I realized that maybe this “why bother” attitude is an entire demon on its own. Mary Oliver (bless her soul 😢) was right: darkness, too, can be a gift.

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Just Write

I’ve been telling myself to write more often. Just write. Even if it’s terrible, even if it’s incoherent, even if there’s nothing interesting to write about. I remind myself to write with an audience in mind. This way I will at least try to make my thoughts readable. Never mind the correctness; we all make mistakes anyway. Just write.

But when do I write? I work eight hours a week, five times a day, and my boss has been compelling me to explore the town more often. Sometimes I go out with people, sometimes I watch movies in my room, and sometimes I trek along the coulees to keep my lungs and heart healthy (feelingera lang). I’ve also been reading a lot. Many kinds, from Terry Eagleton to Filipino short fiction to one cheesy romance that reminds me of my own voice — which isn’t really a compliment, unfortunately.

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The Call Conundrum

Today at work, I had to phone a supplier and discuss the possible implementation plans for one of our projects. I made a list of all the pertinent details I needed, a brief guide of sorts to ensure that I don’t miss anything important.

When I had all the questions typed out — damn son I panicked!

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Early morning musings

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I woke up early today. Campbell was in my dream, I remembered, but it was the haunting staccato steps reminiscent of Feng Shui’s Lotus Feet that jolted me awake. I looked around ready for the jump scare but nah, there was no Chinese aristocrat-contortionist waiting on the other side of the quilt. Sayang, I thought. I would’ve appreciated the company.

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