1. Do you listen to music everyday?
2. One band you always come back to?
3. What is/are your favorite song(s) at the moment?
“2020” by Great Good Fine Ok
4. What’s your Spotify?
Hanapin n’yo na lang.
5. Top 3 played songs?
“Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers
Continue reading “Sunday Songs”
“Hanggang sa Muli” by Kenyo
“Makahiya” by Ang Bandang Shirley
I baked chocolate chip cookies on Christmas Eve. I also ate turkey and spaghetti, I drank wine, and then I watched a movie before going to sleep at around 4am on Christmas Day.
My sleep cycle is still whacked. Luckily I don’t go back to school until next week so I can go to sleep whenever I want. Overall I feel much better now than I did last month.
I still have to go to the clinic to get another blood test done. Sometime in December I did what the doctors call a Lung Function Test, and the technician told me that the results do not suggest I have asthma (“but it doesn’t completely rule it out,” she said). This new blood test will determine if my seasonal shortness of breath is caused, not by asthma, but by allergies.
Continue reading “December”
November was rough on my health. I started taking pills to get my circadian rhythm under control but the meds didn’t help at all. The side effects even made things worse, actually.
There was one time when I had to wake my parents up in the middle of the night because my chest hurt so bad and I felt like I was having a heart attack. I drank water, I tried meditating and breathing to a certain pattern but none of them calmed the pain. I told my parents I couldn’t sleep and when Ma gave me a hug, I bawled like a baby. It was bad.
But that was two weeks ago and I’m obviously still alive, so it probably wasn’t a heart attack. I still get those chest pains though — I’ve been having them for quite some time now.
Continue reading “November”
“That was the year, my twenty-eighth, when I was discovering that not all of the promises would be kept, that some things are in fact irrevocable and that it had counted after all, every evasion and every procrastination, every mistake, every word, all of it.”
– Joan Didion, “Goodbye To All That”
When I realized that my dismal academic performance in October would most likely delay my graduation, I broke down.
But it wasn’t immediate, the breaking down. Sometime in mid-October I started getting back my exam results — all failing grades, all below class average — but I didn’t cry just yet. There were moments when my chest would feel an aching tug, but I also had other exams and other assignments and other reports to worry about.
Continue reading “October”
It is almost 2am on a Monday and I have just completed all my tasks for Sunday but I still feel like writing a post before I finally, finally go to sleep — so currently I am
reading Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata, which I would probably finish tonight (this morning) while I wait for Sleep to kick in;
writing this post and a bazillion other things for school and for work;
listening to my “Panggabi” playlist;
thinking that I am too tired to think about anything right at this moment;
Continue reading “Sunday Currently #5”
Between moments of wakefulness and sleep, a realization: my dreams rarely take place in Canada. Take place. Isn’t that a nice phrase? To take place. As if places are ever ours to take.
A couple nights ago my dream took place in an unfamiliar, unnamed location. In the dream I was speaking gibberish while explaining electric field equations to Another Person. I could very well be telling a story about norval swords and slithy toves, but within the (il)logical parameters of my dream, I perfectly understood Gaussian math.
Continue reading “Of places and parallel universes”
I am copping out on my September log. I have a bazillion things to do, and I just don’t have the energy nor the time to think and write about my life. Nakakapagod!
In lieu of a September post I have an audio recording of my August log. Yez baks, that’s right. I talked to Yin of Kaharuhay the other day and she mentioned that I could start a podcast by just reading my blog posts aloud. E uto-uto naman ako, plus I really needed a quick sanity break, so here we are:
[sorry I had to remove it]
Continue reading “September (Hear Me Speak)”