Sunday night I catch myself watching The Office while nibbling on Skittles and downing the decadent beads of sugar with tepid green tea. I am moving to a new city tomorrow yet here I am doing nothing, just bumming around like some chubby Norse god who lost his will to be.
But you really have to start packing, I remind myself. My new place — a tiny room in the basement of an old house along a quiet, tree-lined street — is ready for occupancy tomorrow. The landlady and I have already agreed on a move-in time. Everything is set, actually, except for my luggage that remains empty.
When I started Jumping Jolens back in 2012, search terms on Google were unencrypted. I could read every keyword that lured random strangers into the stinky pits of my blog. It was pretty cool, but I didn’t gain much from it save for the occasional entertainment.
Some search terms were funny (“kailan tutubo pag nag ahit ng kilay”), some were lewd (“hugis ng vagina ni [celebrity]”), and some were legitimate queries (“ano ang spaghetting pataas at pababa”). Today I will try to answer some of these questions and address other pressing concerns, all in the spirit of Ayokong Asikasuhin ang Buhay Ko Kaya Ito na Muna ang Gagawin Ko.
I watched six movies this month. Five out of six were romance films; the odd one out was Captain Marvel.
I didn’t write notes about these movies. I didn’t even think about them that much. I needed to rest my mind; I had enough shit to worry about this month.
When I watched Alone/Together I cried practically the entire time. I didn’t, no — I couldn’t think too much about the film. I don’t even remember anything about it; I just know that the tears started pouring the moment I saw CAL.
So believe it or not (believe it), I wasn’t always a self-deprecating dumb-ass who barely got through her acads. At one point in my origin story, I was actually pretty smart. Book-smart, math-smart — that brand of smart.
Unfortunately I peaked in grade school. Back then my marks were high enough to land me a spot in the Honor List even though all I ever did was show up. I never studied at home and I watched a lot of TV. The only time I truly cared was when we had to grow a plant for Science and I treasured my munggo seed like it was a mother’s most precious orchid. (I used to love botany, remember?)
One of my teachers then was Ma’am Tessie, a plump bespectacled guráng who put on smeared lipstick like an impish Bratz doll. Spoiler alert: Ma’am Tessie hated my guts.
I searched Google for “get to know you questions” and I found this. La la la, whatever.
What type of music are you into?
The last song I saved on Spotify was “Before We Begin” by Broadcast. (That doesn’t really answer the question, does it?)
What are your hobbies and how did you get into them?
I got into blogging because I genuinely enjoyed writing in high school. I got into painting/sketching because I was living out of town a couple years back and I was sooo bored. That’s when I sketched this Paraluman portrait and I thought, uy, masaya ‘to a!
I’m stuck at a problem at work. Last week I was given a huge data set to analyze but I couldn’t extract the metadata that I need to crunch. The boss didn’t give me a deadline but still, I’m frustrated. Sometimes I think I’m too dumb for this job. Sometimes I also think that maybe I shouldn’t have abandoned writing as a career.
I am out of sorts again. I won’t bore you with the details but just to stay on brand, I am currently
reading an anthology of Filipino speculative fiction from the early 2000’s; one of the stories called “The Secret Origin of Spin-man” by Andrew Drilon is a genuine mood booster, i.e. nakakataba ng puso;
writing this post and nothing else;
listening to Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “Maps”;
thinking that many of my failures in life may have been caused by my tendency to procrastinate every, god, damn, time;