October

“That was the year, my twenty-eighth, when I was discovering that not all of the promises would be kept, that some things are in fact irrevocable and that it had counted after all, every evasion and every procrastination, every mistake, every word, all of it.”
– Joan Didion, “Goodbye To All That”

When I realized that my dismal academic performance in October would most likely delay my graduation, I broke down.

But it wasn’t immediate, the breaking down. Sometime in mid-October I started getting back my exam results — all failing grades, all below class average — but I didn’t cry just yet. There were moments when my chest would feel an aching tug, but I also had other exams and other assignments and other reports to worry about.

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September (Hear Me Speak)

I am copping out on my September log. I have a bazillion things to do, and I just don’t have the energy nor the time to think and write about my life. Nakakapagod!

In lieu of a September post I have an audio recording of my August log. Yez baks, that’s right. I talked to Yin of Kaharuhay the other day and she mentioned that I could start a podcast by just reading my blog posts aloud. E uto-uto naman ako, plus I really needed a quick sanity break, so here we are:

[sorry I had to remove it]

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August

Let’s make this short and sweet, shall we?

I waited a little too long to write this post, so instead of reminding myself about the ups-and-downs of August I will simply talk about the movies and songs and other thingamajigs that I enjoyed last month.

In August I watched five films: Parasite (2019), Kuya Wes (2018), ‘Tol (2019), Hello, Love, Goodbye (2019), and Someone Great (2019). My favorite was Parasite. It’s not perfect, not at all, but it was equal parts entertaining and relevant and I think more people should give it a watch. Ganda.

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Hulyo

Bago ako magsimulang kumuda tungkol sa buwan ng Hulyo, ikukuwento ko muna na kanina, araw ng Linggo, bandang alas siete ng umaga, nagdilim ang paningin ko at nawalan ako ng malay. Gutom na gutom kasi ako.

N’ung Biernes pa ‘yung huling kain ko, pananghalian na shawarma mula sa isang restaurant malapit sa opisina. Biernes ng gabi dumaan lang ako sa mall at bumili ng ice cream (isang cup ng white chocolate with raspberry!). Kahapon naman, Sabado, nagkape lang ako buong araw. Balak ko naman talagang mag-almusal kaninang umaga, pero ‘ayun na nga, hinimatay ako. Nang magising ako sa sahig ng kusina kung saan ako bumagsak, kumain agad ako ng tsokolate at pumasok sa kwarto para humiga at magpahinga. Hayayay.

Pero ayos naman na ako ngayon. Namalengke na ako kanina, okay na. Susubukan ko na lang siguro na hindi magpagutom ulit. Hmm.

So mabalik tayo sa Hulyo. Ano nga ba ang nangyari n’ung Hulyo?

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June

Today marks Day 4 of my attempt to solve an Excel VBA problem at work. My sheets look the same as they did last Friday, and the fact that I haven’t moved forward on this task makes me feel like my brain is nothing but a slightly cognitive swirl of cow manure graced with a dead langaw on top. Hayayay.

But anyway, let’s talk about June.

June was the month when I just wasn’t in the mood to do anything. Normally I would force myself to write a post every Sunday but I didn’t feel like doing that last month. I also got sick, I barely ate, and I struggled with both waking up in the morning and sleeping at night.

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April

The initial plan was to write something with a little arte, like maybe start with a scene description from Noah Baumbach’s Frances Ha, maybe include a dialog or two, and then fluidly transition into a persuasive thesis statement on adulthood, credit scores, and being “undateable.” Too bad I’m too lazy to pull that off, so I’m just gonna go ahead and say,

Hey, guys — it’s gonna be May! (N*SYNC, anyone?)

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