Tag: personal

December

Jolens12 Comments

I baked chocolate chip cookies on Christmas Eve. I also ate turkey and spaghetti, I drank wine, and then I watched a movie before going to sleep at around 4am on Christmas Day.

My sleep cycle is still whacked. Luckily I don’t go back to school until next week so I can go to sleep whenever I want. Overall I feel much better now than I did last month.

I still have to go to the clinic to get another blood test done. Sometime in December I did what the doctors call a Lung Function Test, and the technician told me that the results do not suggest I have asthma (“but it doesn’t completely rule it out,” she said). This new blood test will determine if my seasonal shortness of breath is caused, not by asthma, but by allergies.

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November

Jolens18 Comments

November was rough on my health. I started taking pills to get my circadian rhythm under control but the meds didn’t help at all. The side effects even made things worse, actually.

There was one time when I had to wake my parents up in the middle of the night because my chest hurt so bad and I felt like I was having a heart attack. I drank water, I tried meditating and breathing to a certain pattern but none of them calmed the pain. I told my parents I couldn’t sleep and when Ma gave me a hug, I bawled like a baby. It was bad.

But that was two weeks ago and I’m obviously still alive, so it probably wasn’t a heart attack. I still get those chest pains though — I’ve been having them for quite some time now.

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Se7en Things

Jolens28 Comments

Earlier I worked on a lab report for AI and another lab report for DIP. Tonight I plan to work on yet another lab shit for Machines, write some content for a raket, and review my notes for complex variable math — ang sipag lang e, ‘no?

The reason why I’m grinding through all this acads shit is because I have an upcoming electromagnetics exam next Tuesday. I’m currently on bagsak standing for EM so acing the next exam is crucial if I want to pass the class. Bakit ba kasi ang hirap-hirap ng EM??

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A Playlist For No One

Jolens4 Comments

夢 中 人 – Faye Wong

You liked Chungking Express, didn’t you?

Have I told you that Chungking is among my favorite films of all time? Why, you ask? Maybe it’s the actors, the fact that I find them both very attractive. Maybe it’s the little details too, the fact I now associate canned pineapples and broken plumbing pipes with longing and loneliness.

Or, hmm, maybe it’s just because of that “Dreams” song, that Cranberries cover which I dearly love, and which I’m guessing you love too — do you? Or are my clairvoyant powers failing me again, huh?

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October

Jolens29 Comments

“That was the year, my twenty-eighth, when I was discovering that not all of the promises would be kept, that some things are in fact irrevocable and that it had counted after all, every evasion and every procrastination, every mistake, every word, all of it.”
– Joan Didion, “Goodbye To All That”

When I realized that my dismal academic performance in October would most likely delay my graduation, I broke down.

But it wasn’t immediate, the breaking down. Sometime in mid-October I started getting back my exam results — all failing grades, all below class average — but I didn’t cry just yet. There were moments when my chest would feel an aching tug, but I also had other exams and other assignments and other reports to worry about.

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Sunday Night Worries

Jolens8 Comments

I have a presentation to do tomorrow and it’s about the technical report that I submitted last week.

My supervisor has yet to give me feedback on what I wrote, but I am 100% certain that half of it is hard, solid bullshit. I simply didn’t understand what I was writing about. And tomorrow, when I present that shit in front of the team, I know that they will realize how I practically know nothing about the topic. Hayayay.

A part of me just wants to chill and focus on what’s present. Be objective, they say. Address the things you can change and forget the stuff that you have no control over. Understand the facts and start from there.

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Hulyo

Jolens15 Comments

Bago ako magsimulang kumuda tungkol sa buwan ng Hulyo, ikukuwento ko muna na kanina, araw ng Linggo, bandang alas siete ng umaga, nagdilim ang paningin ko at nawalan ako ng malay. Gutom na gutom kasi ako.

N’ung Biernes pa ‘yung huling kain ko, pananghalian na shawarma mula sa isang restaurant malapit sa opisina. Biernes ng gabi dumaan lang ako sa mall at bumili ng ice cream (isang cup ng white chocolate with raspberry!). Kahapon naman, Sabado, nagkape lang ako buong araw. Balak ko naman talagang mag-almusal kaninang umaga, pero ‘ayun na nga, hinimatay ako. Nang magising ako sa sahig ng kusina kung saan ako bumagsak, kumain agad ako ng tsokolate at pumasok sa kwarto para humiga at magpahinga. Hayayay.

Pero ayos naman na ako ngayon. Namalengke na ako kanina, okay na. Susubukan ko na lang siguro na hindi magpagutom ulit. Hmm.

So mabalik tayo sa Hulyo. Ano nga ba ang nangyari n’ung Hulyo?

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