I was not able to write my monthly logs this year, so here goes a mid-year recap with diary entries and ink sketches from January ’til June.
I STARTED THE YEAR with an obligatory determination to do better.
The preceding semester was one of my worst — I passed all my classes but my GPA dropped, effectively killing my chances for admission to competitive post-grad programs. Still, I wanted to do better.
Most of my classes this term were electives. There was one on machine learning, another on fault-tolerant systems. If only I were wealthy and smart, I would definitely pursue higher studies in those fields.
The second part of my design class also started this month. My team aced the proposal last term, but during meetings and consultations I could tell that neither the client nor the adviser knew anything about my task. When I asked them for guidance on how to solve the possible lapses in my design, all I got were empty attempts at advice (e.g. “take it one step at a time” or “it’s okay if it doesn’t work as long as you understand why”).
I realized that I was more results-driven than I thought: it mattered to me that I made my design work. I couldn’t get on board with the focus-on-the-process it’s-the-climb mindset — I had a goal and I knew the joy of learning would come only when I achieved that goal.
Yesterday I learned that our senior-year project won an award in an eye-triple-E contest. The award is nowhere near prestigious, but the fact that our hack of a project somehow earned us a small recognition is, well, nakakakilig.
And then I thought about the word kilig, how it’s been a while since I last used this word in its proper context. I don’t even remember the last time, to be honest. In the words of philosopher Joey Albert, “I remember the boy / but I don’t remember the feeling anymore.” Charet.
So anyway, I decided to answer these pabebe questions from Tumblr just to inject some kilig in my day. The world is crumbling and my life is slowly disintegrating along with it — I might as well distract myself by doing this, whatever this is.
I received all my grades for the Winter Term last week. I also got an email from the regulatory board telling me how to register for my official designation. Shit’s real, man. Barring any major clerical fuck-up, I am all set to become an engineering padawan.
Unfortunately I have no job prospects at all. Non-essential businesses have shut down and a lot of companies have postponed recruitment. I did have a couple job interviews that went nowhere, so I am currently considering going to grad school.
I’ve been feeling a little under the weather lately. Just some mild discomfort in the throat and the occasional coughing, but one can never be too sure these days, huh?
I’m sure a lot of people are going through so much worse right now so I’d rather not dwell on this not-feeling-well thing. Per usual I will just talk to myself by answering Internet questions because, well, I need to do something. #burgis