Hindi na ako marunong magkuwento

Sabi sa akin ng isang kaibigan kamakailan lang, “Jolens, hindi ka na marunong magkuwento.”

Nag-usap kasi kami sa video call at napansin niyang ang tipid ko raw magkuwento. Kahit simpleng paglatag sa kung ano ang ginagawa ko sa araw-araw, parang hirap na hirap daw ako. Paikot-ikot, walang sinasabi kahit may sinasabi—basta magulo.

Ang totoo kasi niyan, wala lang talaga akong maikuwento.

E sa wala e. Simula n’ung natapos ang semestre at naubusan ako ng mga gagawin, wala nang nangyayari sa buhay ko. Magigising, magkokompyuter, makikipagtitigan sa kompyuter—gan’un lang. Naghahanap din ako ng trabaho, siyempre, pero matumal talaga ang ekonomiya ngayon.

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Early morning musings

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I woke up early today. Campbell was in my dream, I remembered, but it was the haunting staccato steps reminiscent of Feng Shui’s Lotus Feet that jolted me awake. I looked around ready for the jump scare but nah, there was no Chinese aristocrat-contortionist waiting on the other side of the quilt. Sayang, I thought. I would’ve appreciated the company.

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Today, Saturday

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I say there are only two things constant in this world: change, and my life in a perpetual state of disorder. Often I dive deep into this gigantic and unforgiving self-pity sinkhole. I am old and ugly and essentially as useful as my mom’s appendix. Oh right, she doesn’t even have one.

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